luna moth

i’m back in indiana for my brother’s wedding.  i’ve been here since tuesday morning and i’ll be here until july 3rd.  so far, it’s been strange.  good – but strange.

i’ve found that i recently have had moments of profound disorientation.  normally i wouldn’t notice these, but i also have recently had moments of profound inspiration and clarity.  it’s hard to know what sparks the former.  sometimes it’s just thinking about it all too much – how much has changed is such a short amount of time – the people that i’ve lost and/or met along the way – the sense of having so much out there but not knowing where any one path will lead.  i suppose life and it’s purpose isn’t meant to be fully grasped by a mind.  it’s somewhat like thinking about the universe – how there is no edge, yet there is also no center.  it is always expanding while deepening it’s connections to itself.  to try to understand these connections and make patterns of them would be futile and maddening.  hence the mantra of living in the moment and seeking happiness in being present.  i’m working on this, but it’s hard.

as for the latter, those sparks are easy to identify  – the way that the mendocino hills look at sunset (with the golden grass holding the sunlight like prisms on the coastal ranges) – the smell of an indiana summer night after a day of rain – the incredible opportunities that i experience each day – the humble appreciation for the simple things, like becoming really good at making my niece laugh hard and for teaching her to say my name – the luna moth that floated like a ghost around the work light tonight as i helped kevin upholster a seat for the wedding.

i’m assuming that these opposite experiences of connection and disconnection are normal.  but it’s certainly hard to have the latter these days of so much change – it makes you question a lot.  but i suppose the benefit is appreciating that we really don’t know anything about the world, about all which it contains, and about our role within it.  this is all most likely dreadfully boring – it was on my mind because i was feeling that disconnect.  but now it’s time for tea and bed.

bees, broken computers, and the south pole

well i got an alternate position in to work at the south pole.  i guess that’s the ideal setup for me right now because i’m not sure what i want to do come october.  a few nights ago, we watched a movie called “why we fight” about war and the development of the military industrial complex.  raytheon - the company that does the south pole jobs – was mentioned specifically as one of the major armament industries behind the wars that we fight.  sure, they make burgers at the south pole, but they also make bombs and are major supporters of the current wars in iraq and afganistan.  they should be – they make money off of them.  so here’s the crux:  i could use raytheon as a means to get down to the south pole and to new zealand.  but they would be using me equally so to do a shitty job for four months and i would be putting energy into a company that thrives to a large part on the destruction of life, violence, and the active perpetuation of war.  my conscious and my ethics say that i should bail on the antarctica things all together.  the other thought is a conversation that i had with my friend benjamin the other day.  we were talking about the state of the world (peak oil, the crash, etc.) and how it throws good people in to a ethical dilema.  in a way, i am opposed to flying these days – or even excessive travel – in that it consumes a massive amount of fuel.  flying to antarctica and the the countries following it would be contributing to a problem that i am working to solve.  on the other hand is the fact that i want to do this travelling and adventure-making, even more so now because i might not have the option for international travel in a post-petroleum world.  so here we are:  selfless or selfish.  on one side i can be part of the solution by not participating and stick around here to learn more about how i can do more to be a force for change, but i have to give up on that adventure.  on the other hand, i can just put my ethics on hold for a bit and travel while i can, even if it pushes that much deeper down the hole of societal crash – not to mention putting off my education for post-crash education a year or two.  right now i’m torn, but i’m leaning for the decline.  i don’t know though.

 and my laptop died.  about a week and two days ago, the harddrive tanked completely.  i took it to the mac guys in santa rosa and they are in the process of putting a bigger hard drive (100GB) and recovering all my non-backed up data.  it’s going to be a pricey fix, but i thought about two things right before i green lighted it.  1.) i don’t know anyone that is here or that i’ll be seeing soon that would be able to salvage all my photos, music, documents, etc.; 2.) i wanted to save my machine if possible because i read an website about what happens to trashed computers.  i could have said fuck it and saved for a newer and cooler macbook pro (esp. since i have a fancy new job and no rent to pay – or anything to pay for that matter).  but i thought that i’d keep one less computer out of a hazardous waste dump.  but i’m paying for it.  hopefully it’ll be worth it.

this post is somewhat of a bummer.  here’s a good thing.  i took a bee keeping class last weekend and it was awesome.  we have a hive here at the center and i’ve been learning to take care of the bees.  i don’t really care about getting honey out of the deal – i just like the process of beekeeping.  and i’ve been trying to plant the garden and farm accordingly.  one of the interns is really into bees as well and we’ve planted buckwheat, which the bees love.  its pretty awesome and important since bee populations have been crashing.  given that nearly all of our fruit and vegetable food is dependent upon bee pollination for existance, i’ve been talking up keeping bees.  you don’t have to eat their honey – you can if you’d like – but it’s more like providing habitat for an endangered species of animal.  with all the shit that we put into the environment – pesticides, herbicides, pollution, etc. – it’s the least we can do to take care for the buggers now and again.

the milk-eyed mender

so here i am, listening to joanna newsom, trying to think of something to write about.  normally, i don’t just write a post to write a post.  there has to be some thought that i want to convey or bring people up to speed on.  i guess i’ll just do it bullet point by bullet point.

*  mostly, i’ve been working a lot.  this is kinda good because i really like where i work and work isn’t really work.  it’s some computer work, but mostly it doing fun stuff like working in the garden and the mini-farm, hanging out with the bees in the hive, helping with the natural building project or reading.  but it’s also a lot of time that i’m not doing non-work stuff.  there is a huge difference between working all the time while liking your job and not working so much while liking your job.  i guess i’ve noticed recently that the little things that normally keep me busy after work (cooking food, taking walks, building shit, reading, etc.) have been replaced with all things solar living institute.  i’m not sure how i feel about this – i like to learn so maybe i’m just trading old little things for new little things to keep me busy.  the simple fact is that now my work is my home.  the people i hang out with are who i’m technically in charge of.  it’s strange and it’s hard to connect with people on that level.  at least connect to a point that i’m happy.  i think that even if i weren’t their “boss,” i’d have a hard time connecting.  i was thinking about this the other day.  there are people in my life that i know and love tremendously.  these people are those that i want to hang out with all the time because i believe that they “get” me – even if it’s just a small amount.  although most of the people who read thing blog fall into this category (thus need no explaining), the most recent example is my new friend noah.  we first hung out at the permaculture first responder workshop at the SLI.  noah is best described as a bike-kid, anarcho-primitivist, heart-of-gold from oakland.  we got to talking about the impending collapse of our civilization and how excited we were to shed all the bullshit of our lives in the face of this human evolution.  it was nice because the conversation flowed really well – we hung out all weekend.  it’s funny that i am listening to joanna newsom because noah and i were talking about music after dinner and i told him that i wanted to play joanna for him just as he told me he wanted to show me her cd.  we actually said “joanna newsom” at the same time.  creeeeeepy.   the remainder of people are perfectly nice and lovely, but i always end up not really connecting with them.  so rather than think of things to talk about, i pretty much do my own thing.  that’s how most of my life is here.  i just haven’t connected with anyone.  it’s the only part that makes where i am not feel like home.

*  i almost bought a truck, but then didn’t.  since i’ve been here, my life has been contained within the 12 miles that connect the towns of hopland and ukiah.  i have no car and i hope it stays that way because cars are the figurehead of the sinking ship that is our current way of living.  i’ll call them a necessary evil because i am a product of this culture.  therefore, i’m drawn to travel.  i wanted a car to see what lies on the other side of of the mountain ranges to my east and my west.  i know the answer – some of the most beautiful mountains in the country and the pacific coast – but i want to see them and touch them.  also, it’s more to escape for a time.  i sent an e-mail to all of my co-workers to announce that i was in the market for an early-80s diesel truck, preferably small.  we have 100% biodiesel here so i thought it would be the less of the necessary evil.  enter jack into my life.  jack is crazy – medically.  he called the office about 3 days after my e-mail (he never read it) – his message spoke of sensing energy there that matched the energy of his truck.  he said he “had” to call.  so i give him a ring and experienced one of the craziest phone calls of my life – i wish i would have recorded the whole thing.  at the end of the conversation – jack decided that he was just going to bring the truck up to me to look at.  i wanted to be not talking to jack and hearing all about his plan to buy a kayak, equip it with solar panels, and paddle around the world.  jack shows up two days later and scares nearly everyone on site with crazy babble and i eventually meet him on the other side of the highway at his request.  the truck is awesome and i want to buy it.  but it’s too expensive.  jack is fully tweaking out as i look the bent rear bumper over.  he’s talking about how he’s off his meds and about to snap.  he has to get the truck off the trailer he drove it up on.  i don’t argue because i don’t want jack to try to stab me.  he told me he’d only sell it for $4500 – then he said he’s pay me $500 if i’d just take it – finally he told me that he’d take $4500 but give me $2000 back after i paid him.  it make no sense.  i find myself standing next to the truck, filled with jack’s shit, keys in hand as he speeds away.  my instructions are to drive the truck as much as i want – sell it if i wanted to – and wait for jack to call me about how much i could pay and when i wanted to go out for the steak dinner that he insisted we arrange (again, no talk of veganism for fear of being shanked).  i drive it – i like it – jack calls and accepts $1500 (d0wn from $4500) for the truck.  i think i have a nice little truck with a sleeper cab to adventure in.  two days again, while i was working on the oyster mushroom installation (bioremediation for the biodiesel pump), jack shows up – i assume to take my money for his solar powered kayak.  no.  he’s hitched up from 25 miles south .  he sold the car to someone else and asks for the keys.  i just give them to him and count myself lucky for getting rid of him from my life for time.  he tells me that he’s shown me the secret of my energy power (i had to promise not to tell anyone) and that he’ll remember me when he makes billions from reworking the interstates with a chain driven cable system (think rollercoaster being pulled up a hill, but for cars).  then he and the truck are gone.  so i almost bought a truck.

i’m sick of typing.  i’ll write more later when i’m not so impatient to read my new books on fruit trees.

gold to me

it’s funny to experience transitions in perspective.  for instance, what is size?  when i lived in noblesville, i thought it was a “small” town.  there wasn’t a lot to do and i alway found myself wanting more to be going on all the time.  now i’m in hopland and noblesville seems like a far off land of constant activity.  hopland is, approximately, 815 people strong and takes about 5 minutes to walk through.  not at all bad – i really like it.  there aren’t many options so there are never any hard choices.  it’s just funny how we create definitions what things are.  again, what a “small town” is for instance.  as for an update:  all is well.  work is constant in the garden and on the site in general.  the cherries are more and more ripe each day and we’ve been feasting on artichokes.  i’ve got some wheels now (thank you ms. ashley) and will be adventuring out more and more.  i’ve decided that the oak dotted hills that roll through mendocino county – covered with wildflowers, tall grasses, and large boulders – are perhaps some of the most beautiful and peaceful things i’ve ever seen.  i suggest you visit to see for yourself.

horses made of gold.

o.k.  so here it is – the long anticipated update on my life in california.  all and all, life is very good right now.  the following things have happened:

• it has stopped raining for days at a time and thus, my nights in the tent are much more comfortable.
• i have recently be offered (and have accepted) a new job as the intern coordinator for the solar living institute.  very awesome – i’m amped.  this means that i’ll be making money, having full benefits – all while still being able to learn a lot and have the option to go to antarctica if i get a job offer (and i still want to go).  if the ice falls through, i have to option to sign on full time at an organization in which i see a lot of potential.
• i have had two job interviews for antarctica over the phone and two more solid possibilities online.  i think that i’ll most likely get offers for an alternate.  this means that i have to go through the whole hiring process and be “on-deck” if someone cancels at the last minute.  the chef from food services told me that he went through nine alternates last year and that the chances are strong that i’d go if i got that offer.
• the wildflowers are in bloom in hopland, california.

so yes, life has been very excellent recently.  i officially start my new job on monday, so i’ve been passing the days between by working on various things.  mostly, i’ve been helping build the showerhouse, which is natural building made of cob (combination of clay, sand, and straw that is very easily shaped and very hard when it dries.  i read a lot, cook alot, and just got really tired all of the sudden.  i’ll fill you in on details later.  here’s a question:

back in the day, i bought a tripod to take with me to seattle and san fran.  this tripod broke only a week after i bought it and i returned to the store where i bought it to exchange for a new version.  the new one was broken right out of the package (same trouble with the locking mechanism on the leg).  so i contact the company that makes the tripod and call bullshit.  they agree to exchange the broken one for any tripod that i want.  so i have to choose.  i am planning to buy a gorillapod to keep in my bag for the rare occasion when i need a tripod.  i could get their small tripod in exchange so that i can pack it along with me (not really necessary considering the gorillapod) or i could get their largest and fanciest one just because i can.  it’s heavier/longer, so i can’t pack it as easily, but it would be good to have it for the really rare times that i need a tripod bigger than a little gorillapod.  so what should i do?  get the big one because i can?  or stick to the small one because it is more easily travelled with?  please comment.

i’m going to bed.

endgame.

right.  so i live in california now.  i don’t have a car and the town i live in has about 800 people – mostly, from what i have seen, high school girls and people that rev their engines.  so i hang out with the people i live with a lot.  we make food, build shit that entertains us, and have campfires.  it’s pretty much awesome – everyone is warming up and i like it.  i’ve found that i’m quite the communal creature these days.  but when there are only 10 people around, it’s hard to always be hanging out with someone.  even if there was the potential, i wouldn’t want it.  i like the solitude every once and a while.  the nice part is that there is an amazing library that i have have access too – the complete lord of the rings to how to go off grid completely.  right now i’m in the middle of the solar living sourcebook, beginners beekeeping, straw-bale building, and – thankfully, endgame, volume one by derrick jensen.

jensen has come with high remarks from multiple people in my life that i respect a great deal.  although i was told by eli that it would be best to read the culture of make believe before endgame volume one, i am of limited resources (my new friend massey said that she would bring me a copy sooner or later), i jumped into the book.  at minimum, i read every morning for 30 minutes while i drink tea and eat oatmeal with maple syrup.  i’m just at the beginning, but i like it a lot already.  here is a good passage i read – and reread this morning:

“because we as a species haven’y fundamentally changed in the last several thousand years, since well before the dawn of civilization, each new child is still a human being, with the potential to become the sort of adult who can live sustainably on a particular piece of ground, if only the child is allowed to grow up within a culture that values sustainability, that lives by sustainability, that rewards sustainability, that tells itself stories reinforcing sustainability, and strictly disallows the sort of exploitation that would lead to unsustainability.  this is natural.  this is who we are.”

i think it can happen – it has to happen.

here in california

well i made the leap – and after only partially looking.  after nearly a week of travel by bus, train, and other people’s car, i arrived at the solar living institute in hopland, california.  the trip was long, but awesome.  i’ll try to describe it in brief bursts of description:

the greyhound – the trip was long and filled with a lot of people that i had nothing in common with.  they talked about doing drugs, divorce court, and mainstream pop-culture.  mostly, i kept to myself by listening to music, reading by lamplight, and staring out the window.  the most memorable moment was when during a pee-break in kansas.  i walked into the bathroom to find a fella at the urinal and the one next to home open.  i have no problem peeing next to someone, even if there isn’t a divider wall.  as soon as a saddled up to go, the guy next to me – stinking of cigarettes and intolerance – immediately zipped up and announced to the crowd that has lined up to be on-deck that he couldn’t stand it when “mother-fuckers like this guy stand next to me when i’m trying to piss – i can’t go.”  i immediately started laughing and announced that it was ridiculous and that maybe he should use a stall.  this cemented my “mother-fucker” label for the rest of the trip – i normally wouldn’t have said anything but in that i’d never seen the guy before the bathroom, it was completely ridiculous.  i was also at least a foot taller than the guy and had him by about 20 pounds.   all and all, the bus was cramped, and i arrived in denver very tired.

denver:  was a lot of fun.  it snowed when we rolled into town.  i managed to ditch my bags in a paid locker so that i could roam freely before seattle-six picked me up at the bus station.  i love walking around cities – not really going anywhere, just exploring.  i rode the buses, bummed around the library (the only big city library that doesn’t have wireless!), art museum, and state history museum (the free parts).  i tried to tour the denver mint – but it was booked solid (i guess people are really hung up on staring at money).  i found a good burrito (with free wireless!) and an excellent bookstore (the tattered cover).  i walked away with a full belly and three magazines.

raytheon job fair:  eli, mere, morgan, marie, bookis, n8, and cedar picked me up around 7:15PM – nine hours after i arrived – and we rolled to centennial, colorado.  it was awesome to see everyone again – the last time was in january when i was in seattle for two weeks.  it made me miss old friends and made the thought of six months with minimal human contact seem daunting.  there was a hotel, some amazing indian food, some terrible diner hashbrowns, and a cramped ride to raytheon’s polar services office.  the job fair was about 90% standing in lines and 10% talking with people that were – in most cases – not actually the ones hiring people to go to antarctica.  most conversations were a realization that i was woefully underskilled.  however, i had a lot of success with the food services, housing services, supply depot, cargo handling, and waste management tables.  i liked the people and the jobs sounded bearable.  so far there has been two call backs:  production cook and materials-person.  i’m still holding out for the waste management job.  probably won’t get it, but ya never can tell.

boulder – was a blast.  the gang dropped me at the 26th street mall an i waited for savie to pick me up.  he did and we proceeded to get warm off bourbon before heading to a really expensive and not that impressive concert.  the highlight was getting a drink spilled on me by a really cute waitress.  i always am impressed by people that do light touch – they need to get by and they gently put their hand on your side or your shoulder.  i think its really strange that people are so freaked out by touch – its really quite nice.  the second day i walked around boulder to check it all out.  i had a nice chat with kitty – who has moved to boulder from bloomington a few months ago.  it was a beautiful day and boulder is a nice place to visit – but i certainly wouldn’t want to live there.  in the evening, we went to a truly fucked up party.  it was at a bouldering gym, which was really cool.  there was breakdancing, decent djs, and a fair number of people.  but there was also really “artsy” music:  noise music with girls reverse stripping (nearly naked to being overly clothed) and a guy with a canvas and a marker in the mouth making “art.”  i had to hand it to the girls for getting down in a room full of strangers – i never thought that getting dressed could be so damn sexy.  the rest was crap.  there was also a fashion show that was composed mostly of topless girls painted in various fashions.  so overall, there was a lot of nakedness.  but when combined with the odd lighting, noise music, and drunk people it seemed like a very strange movie.  i slept in the back of savie’s truck before getting up to catch the bus to denver and my train west.

the train – this was perhaps the best part of the entire trip.  the scenery was amazing: the rocky mountain passes, the high desert of utah and nevada, and the pines of the sierra nevada mountains.  it was also awesome because i could: get up and move around; lean my seat back quit a bit, extend the leg rest, and stretch out on the seat next to me (i slept really well); hang out in the observation car; eat vegan gardenburgers in the cafe; have diner in the dining car; and meet really cool people in the process.  however, by the second day i was ready to be in hopland.  it was getting tiresome to haul around my stuff and worry about it getting stolen.  my ipod disappeared in the shuffle, which sucks.  but i’m pretty much over it by now.

california – i got to hopland last tuesday after a night in martinez (home of j.muir), a bus ride north, and a wait at the co-op in ukiah.  so far it has been a range of emotions.  all and all – there has been very little introduction to the whole place.  kinda every person for themselves.  in a way, this has been really disappointing.  for the most part, the interns here aren’t interested in hanging out or getting to know one another.  this is partially because everyone is either newly arrived or soon to be departed.  i’ve been pushing communal meals via big pots of soup, trays of roasted potatoes and lots of fresh bread, but no one seems to want to go beyond just eating and leaving dirty dishes for someone (usually me) to clean up.  i’ve come to the early conclusion that i’m not interested in living communally with anyone but close friends and/or those who are interested in equal division of labor.  it’s frustrating, but i’ve been working to not let it piss me off.  by and large, i am stoked to be here – communal life or not.  the site is amazing: huge solar arrays that produce all the energy we need, amazing gardens that produce all the food we need, a nice big kitchen, and a workshop full of tools and wood.  i’ve been building a lot of projects (solar oven, supports for the rammed earth shower house that is going up in the village, planning for a solar drying rack and a bouldering wall).  this has kept me occupied.  however, it has been raining a lot.  my tent was leaking after two sold days of rain so i transferred my stuff to the communal yurt (round mongolian structure).  i stoked the fire and slept pretty damn well.  the mountains are beautiful here – especially in the morning when they are shrouded in mist.  i have a feeling that i’ll like living here a lot.  i also had a job interview on friday for a staff position with the solar living institute.  it was for intern coordinator (i told them i didn’t expect to get it – its hard to be chief when you just moved to the village).  but if on some off chance that i get it, it would put me in norcal for at least a year.  so if that happens, i’ll have to decide between antarctica and california.  the potential the learn an incredible amount is practically dripping from the trees here.  it’ll be a hard decision if i have to make it.

alright, the rain has let up and the sun is shining.  time to dry out my sleeping bag and plaster a few walls in the winter sleeping quarters!

his groove! the rhythm in which he lives his life.

time to crack those knuckles and write a bit about what has been going on recently.  all and all, i’ve been working a lot these last three weeks in order to maximize my resources for california.  so it’s either been working at my dad’s place or substitute teaching.  the former has little interest value, though i’m still working to perfect the trebuchet and the garden is coming along nicely.  i’ve also started welding – poorly as of right now, but i try to practice when i remember to.  so that’s exciting.

as for subbing, it was a good run.  but as quickly as i started, i’m finished.  this coming week is spring break for noblesville schools and the week after is my planned departure via rideshare or greyhound.  i never accomplished my subbing goal.  i really wanted to sub at all levels, kindergarten to high school.  i only subbed at the intermediate school (5th and 6th) and the middle school (8th).  by far, 5th and 6th graders were a solid pain to sub for.  i had to walk them everywhere, pull lunch-recess-bus duty, and yell at kids way too much.  being ten/eleven must to be most socially awkward stage.  there was constant talking, crying, attempted hair cutting, boyfriend-girlfriend squawks, and inability to reassure me that they could wait to go to the bathroom and not pee their pants.  but i still had fun.  it was awesome to hang out with kids that were really interesting people.  we talked about where i have traveled and what 6th grade was like for me when i was in their shoes.  we played some solid heads up seven up – pulled pranks on other teachers – and relaxed for a few extra minutes of recess.  however, 8th grade was awesome.  no baby-sitting.  no lining up.  no teaching of multiple subjects.  i guess i liked being able to hang out with kids and pass on the knowledge that everything before high school is pretty trivial and shit only gets better once you’re free.

in between the work has been a trip to columbus (not too bad of a town if you’re visiting – i dunno about actually living there), st. patty’s day, and the gun and knife show.  the gun and knife show was insane.  i was amazed as the fact that i could walk into a building carrying an assault rifle, hand it to a police officer to check out, and then waltz around with hundreds of other idiots packing equally as much heat.  amazing.  eric and i only made it through about a quarter before i decided it was lame.  i don’t think i’d own a gun ever – the exception being if i lived way out in the country and needed a bit of protection from animals (humans included).  the only other motivation was the fact that there are so many heavily armed and deeply ignorant people out there.  i’m totally committed to living on a self-sustaining farm in the next ten years.  so when shit changes, i’ll glide on smoothly.  however, it is scary as hell to know that if massive changes occur, there is a huge part of the population that has a lot of guns and probably no qualms about taking what is mine.  but it’s a vicious cycle – i buy one, you buy one, i buy one more, you buy one more.  it was a sobering experience to say the least.

but i’m shoving off soon for the left coast.  i have two ride shares that are options right now.  both will drop me in denver in time for the antarctica job fair.  or i could just take a non-stop greyhound for $68.00.  the first would provide a more unique drive experience – tangent routes, interesting conversations, etc.  but it could be a bit more anxious if i’m bringing my computer.  the second would be safer, more direct, and probably cheaper.  but it would be murder to sit on a bus that will most likely take boring roads.  thoughts?

bullets and blades.

so this weekend i’m working for my dad at the indianapolis log home show.  i’ve never worked a show before, but i’m kinda excited to pretend like i know what i’m talking about.  plus i get paid to hopefully learn more about what it takes to build a cabin.  but that’s neither here nor there.  i found out today that in the next building over will be the indianapolis gun and knife show and i’m increasingly more excited.  i don’t own a gun, nor to a intend to in the future.  i’m excited because of how crazy i expect the place to be.  it will be a COMPLETELY new experience.  i’m hoping i can get in for free because i’m working the log home show.  word on the street is that there will be a person there actually making a gun – gunsmithing to be technical.  this sounds awesome.  the last log home show i was at (my brothers were working a booth) was in chicago and there was a magic tournament.  for those of you who don’t know, magic is a totally nerdtastic card game akin to dungeons and dragons.  i checked that one out for free and it was crazy.  those in attendance were totally in their element – t-shirts, hats, briefcases full of cards, the works.  i can only hope that the culture of guns and knives will be just as astounding.  here’s to not getting shot or stabbed at the 2007 Indy 1500 Gun & Knife Show!

making good on good promises.

as my garbanzo beans softly simmer and run d.m.c. bounces in my headphones, i once again appreciate the gmail notifier. it chimes that i have a new e-mail – and not just any e-mail: a BLOG comment! from who? eli – even better! as my counter nears 3,000 he reminded me about a practice that i tried to get started for each time my blogcounter rolled over the thousand mark. the deal was this: if you’re the 1000th person, i’d write an entire post about you and how great you were. the only requirement was that you let me know who YOU are. at 1,000 – the winner must of missed the counter because i didn’t get an e-mail. at 2,000, it was my dear friend ashley schaeffer that hit the nail on the head. so, even though i was planning on reading tonight, this post is for you ashley.

where oh where do i start with a person like ashley? this should be relatively easy considering that we only met in august. despite those short seven months (in which we’ve only been face-to-face friends for around seven weeks), ashley has become a spectacular and close friend. for all intensive purposes, she is a personification of northern california, which made me a little barfy at first and continues to do so to this day (insert vomit face and a smile here). she’s always talking about crystals, moon cycles, and yoga while eating something organic and green. being from the midwest, this is both hilarious and very interesting. i have learned an immense amount from ashley by just “living open”: that i like bikram yoga; what a green drink tastes like; how to eat more kale than is socially appropriate; that my bare feet are the best way to see the world; how to be more connected to those whom i love; and, most importantly, how to let go and be present in life. mostly, she’s been working hard to make me into a goddamn hippy (impossible i say). i still have to laugh at how she matches all the notions of a northern californian. but each laugh is out of appreciation for someone that is so new and interesting. i have never been pushed (in a good way) by a person before to cut the bullshit and drop the walls that surround me. for this i will be forever grateful for being allowed to know ashley. even when we weren’t sure what we were suppose to be to each other, i feel that we knew whatever it was would be around for a long, long time.

you can read about our swim across walden pond in a past post (All Along the Jamaican Plain i think). since then it was has been a tumbling of adventures that have spanned from indiana to northern california. there has been a lot of bread baking, kombucha drinking, and increasingly better snuggling. it’s hard to write a post about someone that has been such an awesome friend. so i guess i’ll just express it in the simpliest terms. she is one of the reasons the world is a radiant and beautiful place and i love her dearly. i know that no post can properly sum up a friendship, but i hope that this one came close. thank you ashley, for being such an amazing presence in my life. here’s to our friendship and my future adventure into the your world.

as for eli’s question about what happens for the 3,000th person, here’s the scoop. the person who is the 3,000th and claims it will be allowed to choose from the following options: a flattering post all about them a la this one; a snail mail surprise (contents at my discretion); or something i bake (raw crackers, granola bars, bread) that can be mailed. sounds tempting, yeah? and this is all on the honor system, so don’t be a jerk and just keep reloading the page until you hit 3,000 – it takes the fun out of the whole thing.